Heartbroken shitty post

I honestly try not to dwelve too much in my first world problems. I try to solve them efficiently  and not suffer from them unnecessarily. 

Sometimes it's hard to be positive when all the criminal arrows are pointing at you. This is all because of you, you deserved this...and that...

I hear it so much to the point that I've come to believe this is the way things have always been.

I lost a best friend today. I tried so hard, to assess anything I managed to have done wrong. Usually, it's easy for me, I'm pessimistic enough to always find a way to fault myself.

But this time, I can't find what I did wrong.

I know I've made mistakes, but I can't understand what would have been bad enough to lose a friend over. I've been betrayed, hurt, thrown away, and in this instant I can't defend anyone else besides me. 

Losing a friend hurts more than breaking up with my first boyfriend. And back then, I felt like it was the end of the world.

I don't know how I'll ever be able to recover. 

And I'm sure the other party believes I'm villainous and shouldn't be pitied.

They are simple-minded if they believe a villain has no feelings.

I haven't posted in a year and I come back with a shitty post.

What was this blog meant for anyway?

Diary post!! WTF (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

Diary Post,



It's actually been way too long. I wanted to write this Diary Post, because honestly this blog actually keeps me from going insane. Yes, I know it's kind of audacious to only post when I want to rant about something but that's what these Diary posts are for aren't they?

I've been way too stressed lately. Aside from writers block and depression at the start of my real-world life, ah, thank's life. Alot of personal life problems piled onto me, along with inevitable first-world problems, you can imagine a tiny person raging around the streets with foul language.

She's so cute! Oh, wait,

WTF IS SHE.

HAH. I'm not gonna lie, a buttload of people have been surprised to find out a socially awkward small person is not actually small and shy, but a bag full of charged catnip.

AH. I CAN'T DEAL.

Just a while ago some wierd lady, hopped over my backyard fence (when I mean hopped i mean peered over not actually crossing the boundary but think of this as hyperbole) and decided to videotape what it seemed to be my dogs.

HA HA. You can imagine my face at that moment. What the hell? What? What are you doing? I honestly tried to peek through my memory if I ever remembered unwanted surveillance of someone's yard is against the law. I remember something on reddit saying that videotaping someone's yard was an invasion of privacy. It should definitely be against the law!

Honestly, I tried to assess the situation as quickly as possible. I stood up from my bed from which I was  sleeping in soundly, from the sound of my dogs barking excessively. You see, My fence is broken and has many holes, and the fence doesn't wrap all the way around. So there are many ways for which if I let my dogs lose they'd run off and get lost somewhere. I've already lost them once and I found one of them swimming in the goddamn river of someone's backyard. I got yelled at for saving him because apparently there are alligators there. But to my understanding there are no alligators in sight and my dog was reachable for me to grab him and run. Thank you very much, PARENTS.

So I tie them to chains that are held back by bucket weights. They can roam around freely but are restrained from the weights from traveling too far AKA beyond the backyard. I try so hard to be able to keep them and keep them away from trouble. There is just one thing I can't control: Their excessive barking at apparent threats. They bark at squirrels. Lizards. And passerbys. And yes. They bark at other dogs and movement beyond the fence. Because of that I invented a whistle in which each time they barked at literally nothing I'd whistle and they'd silence themselves. For now.

And I don't know if my neighbors are all old people with little patience or young partypoopers with no patience, but some of them like to call Animal Control for Noise Nuisance. And the funny part is that each time Animal Control comes the reasons aren't for the obvious but exaggerations so the callers don't sound stupid and immature. "Your dogs are tethered and restrained from food." "They are barking excessively to be escaped from some sort of torture." "Your neighbors are worried about the treatment of your dogs."

No they are not. They just want my dogs to shut the fuck up. They are wasting your time good sirs. Go home. And no longer come for a call to this address they are just spiteful calls from immature neighbors with little patience and can't just put some goddamn earphones on. I spend all day dealing with everyone else's annoying dogs (who sometimes provoke mine) and it's funny how they must think, oh! I see the dogs outside, maybe if I look for every little thing and exaggerate it so I can call Animal Control so they can take their dogs away! YAS. NO MORE BARKING!

Now back to the story. I've seen this woman peer over once, and as I stepped outside she told me to quiet down my dogs. Um, okay lady, they are barking at you so maybe if you went back inside, problem solved? It really is not in my control that they bark at suspicious people.

And the second time I saw this woman once again, it is back to the present story where I, from the otherside of my window, see her VIDEOTAPING my dogs. Now, my dogs are in the chain contraption I made for them (it sounds wrong out of context, here you go lady! Take this out of context and use it against me!) and are eating and pooing happily because it is that time of the day. 10 minutes from then I schedule myself to bring them back in. Totally contrary to one of the reasons in the Animal Control calls "They are left in the sun out all day, without water." THE WATER IS RIGHT THER- You know what, fuck you. I don't care anymore.

But honestly I don't even know if she thinks before she does things or if she has a conscience. But she literally decided to look over my fence and videotape it. (My dogs in the shot.) You see, I am giving her as much benefit of the doubt as possible but things aren't really looking out for her. At some possible spiteful attempt she is trying to videotape dogs being tortured. (From my deductions) All of this was adding up in my mind at the moment. I was frozen to be honest, I didn't open the door. But I somehow really wanted to see her see me, and the conclusion was obvious, she stopped recording and pulled off her ladder.

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST.

My mom saw me see her and immediately brought my dogs back inside but like a teenage boy with a scrambled mind in a relationship I was still prossessing information and trying to think as properly as possible. As soon as everything downloaded into my mind my next action was I put on some presentable clothes and walked straight on to her house.

Monini? What were you planning to do really?

"Why were you recording my backyard?"

It was the main thing I wanted to ask her. But as you can guess, I rang the doorbell a couple times before realizing she wasn't planning on opening the door.Was she in there? From my conclusions yes. Everything added up that she was still inside and there was no way she could have left in the time-frames. Was she hiding from me? Probably. Was I threatening to her? I may have fowl language as primary, but I am socially awkward as hell, so honestly I try not to fight with people. I am naturally an easygoing person. I'd rather get along.

So I tried to talk to her and was most likely refused. So then I walked back home, wrote a letter explaining a treaty and left it on a hook next to the door. Has she seen it? I wonder. But I have not seen Animal Control or something come to my door just yet. She also has not sent me an email from the email I left for her to reply to. I hope it's a good thing. Honestly, I just want to live a carefree life rather than have constant feuds about eachother's dogs.

Beagles are loud as fuck and mine are mixed with a Chihuaha Corgi and a Beagle. This woman doesn't even know that the owner of these dogs is the teenage daughter of the household. She probably doesn't even know who lives here. Some sort of Mexicans. Do they even speak English? YES. My parents have an accent but YES WE ALL DO.

But aside from that, some good things also happened to my life recently. On the eve of Halloween my bestfriend Rai decided to get a Twitter and I was hyped up to get back on the Twitter wagon. Yes, with 200 tweets in the span of two years between 2012-2014 I decided to finally use Twitter again. If Rai had one I had to start using mine becomes honestly that guy has absolutely no social media and I had to find a way to keep touch with him.

But literally he gained 30 followers in one night with no tweets. I forgot how long it took me to get to 100 but I did remember following excessive people because I thought that's how Twitter works. Well, it's the same thing as unnecessary emails in your inbox. So that same night I unfollowed all 900+ people I did not know at all. Don't take it personally.

But Rai was being the easygoing kid he was and tweeted someone who's location was "We The Cats",
"I myself am a cat and so is my friend [My username] I am happy to know we are not the only cats stranded on this foreign planet xD"

And it was history from there. This guy turned out to be iKingJah, this awesome YouTuber who's going places and we ended creating this internet organization called "We The Cats!" for all the Cat lovers. We are also working on a project together. We currently have 15+ active members on Twitter who just chat and have fun in a DM chat.

To be honest I never much cared for cats, I was usually a dog person and a wild animal enthusiast. Elephants and Tigers primarily. Which is how I became known on the internet as a Space Tiger. Yas. Cats are awesome but I didn't have them as pets usually. Their fur gave me allergies and I wasn't up for it. But I got a Tuxedo cat recently and things are fine as long as I take a few pills xD

I love the internet. I've been doing mystical things on there in my lifetime but I gotta go for now. I'm not exactly tired but it's primarily these allegies that I can rid of if I just go to sleep.

Goodnight imaginary readers, I will take my rest.

So take this Photoshopped picture of me as a terrifyingly realistic Space Tiger.

BAI!
x
,Monise Saitou (☞ﾟ∀ﾟ)☞

The Social Medias~

 

Twitter: @darthmonini

IG: @saitoumonise

FB: Monise Saitou

YT: Darthmonini

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Update in so long what is wrong with me why am i even considered a blogger....

Is it bad that sometimes I feel like "defying the system"? I hated school. I didn't hate the studies or the knowledge I received(which is what most teachers believe is why students don't like coming to school), in fact I loved learning. I wanted to have all the knowledge I could possibly get, and I wanted to go far to the greatest university and discover every last thing we don't know about the universe. However, the school system and I never clicked. I hated the teachers, I hated the students, I hated the way the classes were organized. I didn't want to learn in that environment, and I ended up daydreaming or not coming to school at all. Don't get me wrong, I could have been classified as a delinquent, however, I never saw myself as one. I was horribly introverted and I could only become attached to certain people at a time, otherwise  I'd have trouble communicating. It felt like talking to people in another language, and I couldn't understand people. Nonetheless I carried on all 12 years of school and I transferred to 6 different schools in 3 different cities and 2 different states. I'm not gonna lie, I didn't achieve the goals I had since childhood, but that wont stop me from achieving them.

I wish I could go more in depth in this blogpost but as you can see I haven't updated in so long that I'm some what rusty. As if my blog posts were all that great for me to become rusty.

But I will be posting more often.

To anyone who actually reads these posts.

-Monini
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Instagram: @saitoumonise
Twitter: @saitoumonise
Facebook: Just search up 'Monise Saitou'
Snapchat: @moniniskywalker

Diary post!! My life has sucked recently... ;A; (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ but SMILES!!!!

Diary post,

Everyoooooooonnnnneeeeee,

I updated my post later than I thought I would ;A; and I feel so ashamed!!!!! >A< but nevertheless I will blog about these pasts to weeks that no one has heard of me!!! Hehe c:

So, a lot of stuff happened and there were a lot of ups and downs this month especially, and as much as it pains me to say this, but my November started horrible. I cried the last weeks of October and began my November in depression mode, and not to mention I hurt myself on Friday!!! D: YES. But I feel ashamed to even say this, but I got hurt jumping off a lab table, and landed right on my knee. Dx IT FELT HORRIBLE. I tried so hard to hold it in, but I haven’t cried from physical pain in years, but tears just slipped out and I let out a sound of pain. That is when people noticed me, and although the pain was mild at the time, as I walked, the pain progressed and I did not even know why. My friends tried to help me, but I personally did not want the attention, and I was just hungry, and tired, and just wanted to drink some nice cold juice. But of course, my stubborn actions got me nothing, and everyone just saw me as a stubborn crybaby, and I just wanted to crawl into a hole and turn into a mushroom TAT !! Although I saw what I was doing and what I felt to be completely justified but I am pretty sure the world saw differently. I refused to be helped, I refused to go home, I refused to go anywhere until I was with my best friend Crychi and since I couldn’t do much all I did was cry. Not to mention, my friends picked up by force, and since I could not fight back all I did was cry more. CHRIST, HOW OLD AM I AGAIN?! BUT IT CANT BE HELPED WHEN YOU’RE A STUBBORN ARIES WHO WAS PUT IN A SITUATION IN WHICH SHE CANT DO ANYTHING HERSELF AND THAT WAS ALL I COULD DO!!

So, I ran. Well, I limped away, the minute I could, towards home. But, well I was forced by the authority to go get my leg checked, and well, although it was nothing serious I did inflict more pain with my stubbornness. It was a little red and swollen around the knee bone so that was what caused pain, since my skin is sensitive and gets swollen easily. And so, at the end of the day I ended up with a bruise on my knee and literally dying from allergies because, COME ON, I fell on the floor face first, and no one cleans the floor where I was at and I get allergies from everything. ;A; //dies

I suffered trauma from that day and now I don’t even want to leave my house anymore T-T

I was actually quite chirpy the day that I am writing this post! I dont know why, but after going to the movies and watching Big Hero 6, my sorry week was masked by one of the best works Disney has done. Makes me actually wonder if Star Wars VII is really going to suck as much as people say it is?? 

I had a great conversation with the guy at the store in which I bought the shirt in the picture above, about how I shouldnt fret about episode 7, and that it's going to be great. Disney cant possibly mess something this great up. Right? That actually made my day, besides the fact that the title did sound a bit iffy to me, I would still watch it even if it was called, The Force has a nightmare hehe. ^_^ God I love Star Wars. And after watching Big Hero 6, it came to me that Disney really isn't all that bad and we are all just being crybabies. I guess to me it's mostly the fact that Disney always has to have it's logo at the top. IDK, but really I dont really have issues, but that's highly just me.

Besides all the bad things that happened this week, I did accomplish some things despite them not contributing to productivity in my priorities. 

LIKE THIS ANAKIN/VADER PAINTING I DID AND THIS IS MY FIRST TIME PAINTING ANYTHING!!!!!! LIKE FOR REAL, FOR A MANGA ARTIST WHO'S ONLY FORTE WAS COLORED PENCILS AND INK THIS IS JUST ^_______________________________________________^ AMAZING TO ME!!!! 

Also this as well, my older sister spraypainted a wooden crate, and I painted over it, and this was the result. Lolololol dont mind me, this was a quick selca to show how vaderific I was today hehe ^v^

See you sooooooon~

Bai Bai x

,Monise Saitou (☞ﾟ∀ﾟ)☞

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Twitter: @Saitoumonise

IG: @saitoumonise

FB: Monise Saitou

YT: Monise Saitou

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Moninitalk #1 +updates! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

Hello people!

Si it has been a while since I last posted on this blog or decided to do anything pertaining it but I have valid reasons if anyone is interested enough to know.

To start this off, I would like to say that people can have lots of changes and opportunities in life no matter where they are going and that includes EVERYBODY. That including me, whose mind was made to always be sent on a single goal and I would boost myself towards it no matter what. That being said, I would like to get a little more personal and less broad on this post.

I not too long ago made a relevant post like this not too long ago about “just doing it” rather than sitting down and thinking about it. Me as person, I always thought the best thing to do when I had no means in doing something, was to just sit and plan some more until I had my hands on what I needed. That type of strategy has its own pros and cons. Even though I would have a lot more to think about in doing and knowing that I will have even more projects soon, sometimes I get a little too carried away. I would think, HEY, how about I work on this right now that seems a lot easier than the one I have not been able to do at the moment. That isn’t a good idea because I end up dropping halfway and leaving an unfinished project just sitting there and sometimes can be forgotten! YIKES! But, I try not to fret about it, take a deep breath and find a positive way to deal with it.

This is what has been happening to me recently. Although I am still not an adult and I am still barely finishing high school, a lot of my issues began and are still happening my last year of high school. I am not going to say things like, gosh I am so happy to leave this hellhole, or AH IM SO SCARED OF GOING INTO THE REAL WORLD. Right now I am just in the processing, or “queue” of entering a new era for myself. And although I sense a new change coming from me, I have not been able to feel the coming of age entering my life. The day I walked into high school I was terrified, and now that I have such little time before I have to leave, I just have so many mixed emotions that is so very hard to explain. But the point blank is that, I am not exactly at the point in my life where I need to be sitting around and thinking about how great it will be to start a new project.

Oh hey!  (・∀・ ) So one interesting fact is that I was recently pulled off my chair (metaphorically I am actually on bed hehe) to go do something priority wise. Usually when things like this happens I usually use my muse and am unable to continue what I was doing, but I pep talked myself into continuing this post.

So this is what has been preventing me to write anything down. Although this blog was mainly for entertainment purposes I thought I would make it sort of a diary, cause hey, I am a pretty interesting person as it is! ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ  Huehue.
 Okie. This was an update sorta, and I will continue this, hmm, what should I call it since it wasn’t really a what happened so far post and more of a heart to heart thing for me. Moninitalks. Hehe.
(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ It has become official!!!

(~￣▽￣)~But since I put my point across, here are a few projects personal or not that I have in store for myself and the world! I put it in a setting that is easier and handier for me to display in my life planner. It’s a lot of fun too!! HUEHUE ( ^▽^)

·         GRADUATING BOSS BATTLE!!!!

·         PUBLISHING MAJOR FANFICTION WORK PROJECT

·         PUBLISHING MY FIRST NOVEL PROJECT

·         ENTERING THE REAL WORLD MAIN QUEST

·         COMING OF AGE SIDEQUEST

·         MY VLOG CHANNEL SIDEQUEST

·         GOING TO JAPAN( ಠ◡ಠ )MAIN QUEST SETTING*

WELL!!! That’s it for you guys! Hope you got a kick out of this update or came just for the boredom but either way you came! YAAAAAAY o(≧o≦)o

 (≧ω≦) ß FOREVER ALONE

See you guys in my next diary post! AND NEXT MONINITALK (✿◠‿◠)

BAI BAI x

P.S To lighten up the mood some pictures of my shenanigans during my absense;  love u J

,Monise Saitou (☞ﾟ∀ﾟ)☞

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Twitter: @saitoumonise

IG: @saitoumonise
YouTube: Monise Saitou

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Irrelevance is Bliss

OKIE. Has it been a millinium since I last updated this blog?

Perhaps in some distant galaxy but the point drawn, is that I havent payed much attention to this thing. It is true. Now that I am trying to get my life together, and strapping myself up before throwing myself into the large wormhole called the real world, I am beginning to realize I have some real shit to pull together.



But besides that, I decided to rant about things that happened recently with the fact that I am currently throwing away the adolescant me, as I become a brand new adult. What I want to ramble about is the tenacity of the teenagers I had to deal with every single day as I studied to graduate high school. Dont get me wrong, I had my moments as a teenager, and can understand what they are going through. However there is a limit to how abrupt you can be in this society and especially among your colleagues and teachers.



Okie. So I was trying to get all my credits together, because without these I can not graduate, so even though I decided to take online school to focus on graduating,  I was required to take two classes on school campus. But as nonacademic as I was, I had to retake a math course I failed my junior year and I had to take a junior class. So yes. It turns out that even though I was brain dead in that class and had no idea what to do (I enrolled late in the year because of some issues), none of these 11th graders could help me in any way. Oh dear lord of the sith, how good it must feel to them to not need to worry about graduating on time, as they can just breeze through the class by doing classic things like copying homework and answers. However, that way is impossible for me as I have final exams that decide my fate of whether I should be released into the wild with a diploma. Ah geez. I am dying and totally no where near where I should be, and I feel peeved by all these people 1-2 years younger than me, who can even help someone like me cause I managed to stoop myself to the level of BEING NOT AT ALL SMARTER THAN UNDERCLASSMEN.



But anyhue, what peeved me the most this week, is people who are rude because they dont seem to have any care in the world. My good friend and I, who have the same goals in the entertainment industry sit and talk about ideas and pitches for projects we plan to do together. Even though we are happily sitting here, in our own bubbles, some person who for some reason likes to judge every little thing, decides to shoot down my friend's ideas even though she had nothing to do with the conversation. We are at all not grinches, and we do not mind if people want to listen, and talk with us, even though again, we seem to be on a different level from them. This girl, decides to be an IRL troll and try to tell my friend that she is doing copyright infringement to a movie she had seen. As I am trying to assess the situation without openly doing this:



She decides to prove her point with an assuring voice. However, as my friend quickly caught on she said,

"Are you talking about Happy Feet? That is no where near close to my synopsis."

Trollina: "It's not Happy Feet, blah blah blah blah blah, oh wait yea it is."

Me:



My friend: "That is not even close to my story"

Me: I'm pretty sure the characters in your story's feet are no where near happy.





But to sum everything up, people are just so irrelevantly incompetent that they do not even realize it themselves. As I am just here sitting and typing this awaited blog post, and longest I have written in history I proclaim that this society has it's fair share of trolls who probably aren't trolling for fun but they are just that imbecilic.

So I will leave you here because I am sleepy, and tired, and I need to sleep before I kill myself in the process.

Also! Check out my video blog I posted on my YouTube channel, which is basically irrelevant videos I had stored and have no shame of having recorded.

 Irrelevance is Bliss:





Anyhue Elephant lovelings,

Bai Bai x





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Twitter: @saitoumonise

IG: @saitoumonise

YouTube: CHIBIchan

Might be lazy.... huehue

Herro people of the peepeeeeee-
mhm.
So people, lately I have been healthy, although recently I began to feel like my ear infection is coming back.

Literally me: NU. I swallowed too much garlic for dis.

I will literally nibble on myself and swallow myself interally if that darn infection returns to torture my soul.

But besides that fact I have been having too much unnecessary stress and headaches because my head decides that it does not feel like sleeping at the correct time, and I have become too distracted.
WHAT HAS BECOME OF ME. ^ literally read this while looking at that Husky. IT TELLS IT ALL.

Anyhue, I have actually done a decent amount of work and have got 98% of it done. For example, this manuscript I need to have done. Literally I am stressing over how happy I am that I managed to have a novel this amazing(in my own opinion) and the fact that I havent even sat down to write.
It's funny how I am with this! I know what happens from beginning to end, and I know all the little details and I fangirl about my own novel, BUT I HAVENT EVEN WRITTEN A MANUSCRIPT.
MONINI.
R U SRS.
Right now I am just finishing up basic design before I begin manuscript and I promise I will write thas manusrcapsssssssssss
Okie. I do daydream my novel everysingle day, in fact, I breathe it, but there is noone to share such glory. Which sucks, because I chose the path of entertainment without informing family and friends about my situation.
In fact, in September 2015 I am going to Japan for college, which is what my mother thinks. However, that is not the only reason I am going. I want to be away from my family for the short years I am there, and in peaceful quietness begin a writing career. Hopefully, this is what I want.
Which is why I chose to have a penname and for a while friends wont know about the things I do. My mother knows however, that I am not just her Monise, but in fact, Monise Saitou.
I hope she reads this one day and sees that this is what I have been doing this whole time on the computer, locked up in my room haha.
Yes, this is what is wierd, people will judge you for being on the computer and not being very social, but they have no idea what sort of things you are creating on here. c:
Hue,hue hue. c:<
Well, I'll get off and actually start doing something productive. Maybe that manuscript I want to have done.
Bai Bai! x

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IG: @saitoumonise
Twitter: @saitoumonise